Beat the Wedding Blues
Brutally honest advice from a bride who’s been there!
I must admit that when planning my wedding I of course came across this term but to be honest I just assumed it was a phrase for a little comedown after the big day once the excitement is over, and yes of course it is just that but for some just like myself it was a lot more than just a little come down.
This is unusual for me to talk about what may be described as ‘negative’ wedding talk, but at the same time it’s important for me to talk about this as it’s a real thing and I really wished I had prepared for it!
So maybe you’re reading this as a bride or groom to be, which is perfect as I’m going to give you some tips to help hopefully bypass this altogether. Or, perhaps you are newly weds and can relate and not feel alone. If neither applies then you’re about to be armed with some advice that may help a friend in need!
So you have just had 1/2 (maybe longer given the pandemic) years of planning your perfect day! The hours you have spent, the brain space it has filled and the pockets it has emptied but it was all worth it for the best day of your lives! Memories to last a life time that you shared with your friends and family, it’s been the topic of all discussions, the event of the year! But what next?
It hit me like a ton of bricks to be quite honest, and I didn’t know it was wedding blues until I was out of it! I felt alone in this feeling and almost selfish for feeling unhappy when I should be on top of the world! I would say the feeling of almost depression was not an exaggeration for me.
So what’s the definition of wedding blues?
Post-wedding blues are a real phenomenon experienced by men and women everywhere. It describes a feeling of low mood that comes after getting married – usually when you've come down from the 'high' of your wedding, returned home from the honeymoon, and been forced to settle back into normality.
So the great news here is that it’s totally normal and you are not alone in this, wedding blues is a real thing experienced by many newly weds!
I guess a way to describe the feeling I felt was a little grief and here is me being brutally honest … a little disappointed. 2.5 years of planning for it all to be over in a flash. I guess as a girl we want the fairytale that we read about and watch in films right!
And I for one had these expectations of what married life will be…. But here’s the thing…. Married life is what you make it, and nothing is going to change other than your last name!
Now I’m not trying to be negative here but i feel like if I had read this and set myself realistic expectations and planned for the blues then I know my first year would have been very different!
Here are my top 5 tips to beat the blues:
1. Planning your first year as a married couple.
Keeping busy and having things in the diary to look forward to! Now this doesn’t have to be expensive, it’s about making time for each other, quality time, something as simple as a picnic or even a stay at home date night! How about adding 12 date night ideas, one for each month, maybe pick 6 each and add to a jar to select from each month!
2. Communicate
Now this is absolutely key and certainly something I struggled with! I listened to a great podcast recently by the amazing Jenna Kutcher and she spoke about ways to communicate with your partner! So before you can communicate you need to know how they communicate best! For ex. I know my husband prefers to write everything down and really think about what he says and really I’m the same but end up just blurting everything which normally ends up coming out not quite how I meant! So find out from your partner and don’t assume as once you find the most comfortable way of talking though any concerns then the rest is easy! Statistically more women than men do feel the blues but by being on the same team and supporting each other will help you though this. Wedding groups and forums are also a great way to speak to other brides/grooms who may be feeling the same way - a problem shared is a problem halved!
3. Reminisce
Just because the day is over it doesn’t mean you can’t reminisce! Book in some time with friends and family when your photos and videos are back and relive that magical day! Even after the big day there is still plenty to keep you busy like planning the photo album, what to do with all of your lovely cards, thank you cards to send etc scrap books and boxes are also a lovely keepsake to have and look back on!
4. Writing a letter
Now this isn’t for everyone but how about writing a letter to each other and listing the reasons why you love them so much? Then every time you’re feeling down you can reach for the letter and smile!
5. Get organised
Now you have just planned a wedding so my guess is your probably already pretty good at this! But now the wedmin is over you have some time back to get other things organised! Make a list of everything perhaps around the house that needs doing, there’s nothing like a good organise and spring clean to make you feel better! Perhaps you have some life goals your working towards like moving house, starting a family or like me throwing yourself into starting a business!
I really hope that if nothing else, my top tips have or will help and that hopefully by speaking out about this unspoken stage of wedding planning will help prepare or make someone feel a little less alone in all of this!
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